I have noticed a similar dynamic not only among ex-Muslims but also within humanist communities. Some people have had such negative experiences with religion that they find religious discussions uncomfortable or even unsettling.
When they attend a humanist meetup, they are looking for a space free from religion. They want to discuss science, philosophy, ethics, current affairs, literature, or simply enjoy the company of like-minded people without revisiting a part of their lives they have already left behind.
For them, religion represents a closed chapter. Others come to the same meetup for a different reason. They may still be processing their experiences. They may be exploring questions about belief, doubt, identity, or the impact religion has had on their lives.
Some find relief in being able to speak openly about topics that were once forbidden or difficult to discuss. For them, the meetup provides a safe space to unload their thoughts, share experiences, and gain perspective from others who understand. For them, religion remains a topic worth exploring. Neither group is wrong.
The challenge is that both groups arrive at the same space with different expectations. One person enters hoping never to talk about religion again. Another enters, hoping for an opportunity to talk about religion honestly for the first time.
This tension is not unique to humanist groups, ex-Muslim communities, or any particular movement. It reflects the different ways people process significant life experiences. Some people heal through distance. Others heal through conversation.
Some find peace by closing the door. Others find peace by understanding what happened before they close it. Recognizing these different needs can help communities become more welcoming and compassionate. Instead of asking whether people should talk about religion or avoid it, perhaps the better question is whether there is room for both approaches to coexist.
After all, the goal of a diverse community is not for everyone to process their experiences in the same way, but to create space for different journeys to be respected.
June 2026
