Pain and suffering, these are familiar companions to us all. And while some pain is physical or circumstantial, I believe that much of our suffering is born from within.
We create it. We feed it. We carry it, sometimes without even realizing it.
Let me offer a reflection.
The Self speaks in many ways.
The Self says:
“I am special. I possess deep insight. The world needs to hear what I know.”
The Self says:
“I wrote something profound. I shared it in this forum, and surely others will be moved.”
The Self says:
“I just bought a stunning, sexy dress. I’ll wear it to the party tonight. I’ll shine they will see me.”
But then the world doesn’t respond the way we hope.
No one comments on the post.
No one notices the brilliance.
No one compliments the dress.
No one sees the Self.
And what happens?
The Self recoils.
The Self feels hurt.
The Self feels sad.
The Self feels invisible.
So we ask who is truly creating this suffering?
It is not some external force. It is not fate, nor karma, nor punishment.
It is the Self the part of us that craves recognition, validation, applause.
And when that part of us is denied, even gently, it bruises.
It grieves not because the world wounded it, but because it expected something.
It reminds me of a traveler, hunched and weary, carrying a heavy load through unfamiliar terrain.
The burden is not food or water or shelter it’s expectation, ego, neediness.
And the traveler wonders, “Why am I so exhausted?”
But never once questions the baggage.
Now, I don’t say this from a pedestal. I say this as someone who has been that traveler.
Who still is, sometimes.
Because pain is part of the human condition.
But suffering? That’s often optional. That’s often self-inflicted.
So what do we do with this knowledge?
We learn to release.
To loosen the grip on needing to be seen a certain way.
To find worth without the applause.
To wear the dress not for the party but for the joy of it.
To write not for the praise but because the words needed to come out.
To live not to be noticed but to be true.
The Self, when held too tightly, becomes the source of our suffering.
But when gently observed not punished, just understood it softens.
It heals.
And maybe, just maybe, we begin to suffer less.
