There are people you meet who leave you feeling… tired. Not physically. But something else.
You talk to them for a while, and by the end of it, you feel:
• heavy
• drained
• like something has been pulled out of you.
I used to joke about it. Like those creatures in Harry Potter. The ones that suck the life out of you. That’s exactly how it felt. I used to call them “energy Vampires”
But over time, I realised something. It’s not that they are “draining your energy.” It’s that you are stepping into something you are not equipped to carry.
I experienced this with someone close to a lady friend who've been having a difficult life. Mental illness. Loss. Trauma that never quite settled.
Every conversation with her felt like walking into a storm. Not loud. But heavy. And every time I stepped out of it, I felt exhausted.
At first, I thought: “What is wrong with her?” But that question didn’t help.
So I changed it. “What is happening to me when I am around her?”
That was when things became clearer. I realised: I wasn’t just listening. I was absorbing. Taking in her fears. Her frustrations. Her unresolved pain. And trying, in some quiet way, to make sense of it. That’s where the exhaustion came from, not from her. But from my lack of boundary. Tantra in Practice.
This is where the work begins. Not by avoiding people. Not by labelling them. But by seeing clearly: what is yours and what is not
You can be present without taking everything in.
You can listen without carrying.
You can care without collapsing.
A Simple Shift,
Instead of thinking: “She is draining me.” I said to myself “I am stepping into something heavy.”
And then ask: Do I have the space to hold this right now? If the answer is no, it is okay to step back. That is not rejection. That is clarity. No Guilt Needed Many people confuse compassion with sacrifice.
But real clarity looks like this:
• knowing your limit
• respecting it
• not turning it into guilt.
You don’t have to stay in every conversation. You don’t have to absorb every story. Sometimes, the most responsible thing you can do is: stay present brieflyand leave clean
Final Reflection
Not everyone who feels heavy is harmful. Some are just carrying more than they can manage. And when you step into that space, you will feel it.
The question is not: “Why are they like this?”
The question is: “How am I meeting this?”
Not everyone who drains you is the problem. Sometimes, it’s where you stop holding your boundary.
April 8th, 2026
